we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
