the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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