i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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