im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
whose parrot is this?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
