We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
