Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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