A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize