I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
