sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
