Sry I called you an 8
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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