hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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