At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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