I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low