Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?