Texts From Last Night

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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.

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  (225): i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking. http://tfl.nu/sgts
  Replies (16) Good night (1702) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!

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  (904): im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend! http://tfl.nu/e3rl
  Replies (50) Good night (3160) Bad night (1053) Order T-Shirt
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  They always sound like a bunch of chickens.

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  (514): I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record. (709): They always sound like a bunch of chickens. http://tfl.nu/9qu6
  Replies (23) Good night (679) Bad night (1935)
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  (714): View more from California

  I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.

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  (714): I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie. http://tfl.nu/xp3y
  Replies (36) Good night (6989) Bad night (827) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.

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  (605): dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce. http://tfl.nu/vye8
  Replies (20) Good night (4231) Bad night (801) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?

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  (503): They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that? http://tfl.nu/8vi3
  Replies (6) Good night (2826) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying

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  (609): Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying http://tfl.nu/j2oh
  Replies (8) Good night (2733) Bad night (776) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.

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  (516): If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar. http://tfl.nu/qpqr
  Replies (2) Good night (1439) Bad night (581) Order T-Shirt
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  (212): View more from New York

  You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines

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  (212): You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines http://tfl.nu/eq9r
  Replies (14) Good night (1474) Bad night (574) Order T-Shirt
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  (331): View more from Illinois

  DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME

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  (331): DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME http://tfl.nu/8t0w
  Replies (7) Good night (2572) Bad night (431) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?

  (315): View more from New York

  His step dad chiming in on the jokes.

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  (315): What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table? (315): His step dad chiming in on the jokes. http://tfl.nu/1trz
  Replies (6) Good night (1278) Bad night (536)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober

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  (757): also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober http://tfl.nu/ijy4
  Replies (1) Good night (724) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.

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  (561): So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure. http://tfl.nu/8h8j
  Replies (1) Good night (644) Bad night (201)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.

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  (306): I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer. http://tfl.nu/mo8a
  Replies (3) Good night (466) Bad night (176) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.

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  (901): I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes. (901): But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes. http://tfl.nu/ipaj
  Replies (4) Good night (815) Bad night (164)

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