Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
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just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
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Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.