is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT