just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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