I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
