if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
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