I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
