But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
