So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
