I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
