Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
