I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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