Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
