so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
