I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
