I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
