Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
No subtext here. People are naked.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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