Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
