...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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