wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
