Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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