I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
id be glad to
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
it was like eating out sand paper
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
