I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
