Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I want to be your penis for a week.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize