it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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