so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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