All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
