I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
