How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
