At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
