why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just gargled with NyQuil
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
