your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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