you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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