I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
