I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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