my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
