shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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