they said they heard you say put it in my butt
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
