i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
