In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
