He disabled his match.com account in front of me
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
