A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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