So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Randomize
