My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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