hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
3pm strippers are depressing
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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