I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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