Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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