so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize