Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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