hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My ass is underappreciated
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
