I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
