I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
