The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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