Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
