then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm too high and old for this...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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