the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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