Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize